Emotional Boundary Setter
Distinguish your emotions from others'
Helpers and empaths often absorb others' stress without realizing it. This tool helps you distinguish your emotions from others' and protect your energy.
The emotion I'm experiencing right now... did it originate in me, or did I pick it up from someone else?
If you removed yourself from this person's presence, would the feeling still be there?
Someone dumping emotions on you
“I care about you and I can see you're going through a lot. Right now I don't have the capacity to hold this. Can we talk about it [specific time]?”
Feeling guilted into helping
“I want to help, and I also need to be honest that I'm stretched thin. What's the most important piece I can realistically support?”
Others' stress becoming yours
“(Internal) This is their stress, not mine. I can be compassionate without absorbing it. My calm helps more than my panic.”
Being asked to fix someone's mood
“I love you and I'm not able to be responsible for how you feel. What I can do is be here with you.”
Post-interaction recovery
“(Self-care) I need 15 minutes to reset. That interaction was heavy and I need to return to my own baseline.”
The Emotional Check-In
Before and after difficult interactions, ask: 'What am I feeling right now? Is this mine?'
The Energy Budget
You have finite emotional energy. Budget it intentionally. Not everyone gets the same allocation.
Physical Reset
After absorbing someone's energy: wash hands, change rooms, take 5 deep breaths. Physical shifts support emotional ones.
The Compassion Balance
For every unit of compassion you give others, give yourself one too. Self-compassion isn't selfish.